You are beautiful.
Was that hard to believe?
"Beauty" is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as "the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit."
Curious about how women define beauty, I reached out to a few people for their opinions. Not one person mentioned physical appearance. They all described the character of a person. My favourites were:
"Beauty stems from laughter and connectedness — when you feel connected to something you tend to focus on its beauty."
And: "In terms of simple attraction, I really think there's nothing more beautiful than quiet confidence. And if that person has the words to connect inwardly and outwardly, then it's electric."
These stood out to me because they spoke about the ability to connect. Another surprising connection that emerged during lockdown was to the inner self. Many people mentioned that the ability to simply be still and reconnect with themselves felt beautiful.
On a personal level, getting used to not wearing make-up and not being able to exercise in the usual ways left me feeling a little uncomfortable in my own skin. But one morning my partner said, "You're really pretty." My first internal reaction was self-doubt. But then I thought — perhaps my perception of myself is so skewed that I cannot see myself for the beautiful person I am when all the so-called masks are stripped away.
My question is this: if we intellectually know, and inherently feel, that beauty goes far beyond physical appearance — why do so many people still struggle with self-loathing? And how is it that sometimes the most aesthetically attractive people can repel us based on their character alone, while others who don't tick the "physical boxes" can be some of the most beautiful people we ever meet?
I believe beauty comes from the inside and shines outwardly regardless of what you look like. Beauty is the ability to connect with yourself on a level that brings you stillness and peace, so much so that it radiates outwardly and pours onto others. Beauty is quiet confidence and groundedness in knowing your worth. Beauty is the opposite of isolation and rigidity — it is connection and fluidity.
So I challenge you to change your perception, even just for a moment. Look within. Celebrate yourself with love and adoration. Find stillness in your busy day — because once you start to connect with your own internal stillness, you will become more and more aware of the simple beauty in your daily life. A sunrise, a flower, a smile. And once you start opening your heart to the beauty around you, you might just start to see the beauty within you too.