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"Beauty is connection."

25 November 2020

You are beautiful.

Was that hard for you to believe?

“Beauty” is defined by the Merriam- Webster dictionary as “The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.”

Curious about how women define beauty, I reached out to a few ladies for their opinions. Not one person mentioned physical appearance. They all described the character of a person. My favourites were;

“Beauty stems from laughter and connectedness - when you feel connected to something you tend to focus on its beauty.”


“In terms of simple attraction, I really think there’s nothing more beautiful than quiet confidence. And if that person has a brain or at least the words to connect inwardly and outwardly, then it’s electric.”

These really stood out for me because they spoke about the ability to connect. If you were out on the first morning we were allowed to exercise during lockdown you would have noticed – the vibe was electric. It carried this sense of peaceful connectivity and laughter that many had struggled without for over a month. It was beautiful.

Another surprising connection amplified during lockdown, was to the inner self. Undergoing personal challenges, many have mentioned to me that the ability to simply be still and reconnect with themselves, felt beautiful.

On a personal level, getting used to not wearing make-up and not being able to exercise the way I usually do, left me feeling a tad uncomfortable in my own skin. However, one morning I was sitting outside with my partner when he lovingly said, “You’re really pretty.” My first internal reaction was one of self-doubt, he must be losing his mind! But then I thought – perhaps my perception of myself is so skewed that I cannot see myself for the beautiful person I am when all the so called “masks” are stripped away.

My question is, if we intellectually know, and inherently feel that beauty goes far beyond the idea of physical attraction, then why is it still that on an individual level, so many women still struggle with self-loathing? And even more so – how can it be that sometimes you can meet the most aesthetically attractive people, yet be repelled by them based on their character alone, and yet other people who don’t tick all the “physical boxes” can often be some of the most beautiful people we ever meet?

I believe beauty comes from the inside and shines outwardly regardless of what you look like. Because beauty is internal. Beauty is the ability to connect with yourself on a level that brings you stillness and peace, so much so that it radiates outwardly from you and pours onto others. Beauty is quiet confidence and groundedness in knowing your worth. Beauty is the opposite of isolation and rigidity – it is connection and fluidity.

So, I challenge you to change your perception, even just for a moment if you can. Look within. Celebrate yourself with absolute love and adoration. Find stillness in your busy day – because once you start to connect with your own internal stillness, you will become more and more aware of the simple, intricate beauty in your daily life. A sunrise, a flower, a smile. And once you start opening your heart to the beauty around you, you might just start to love yourself enough to see the beauty within you. With this internal knowing of your true inner being, you will become more beautiful than you ever would have imagined, and it will shine outwardly for all to see.

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